O'Sullivan Counseling Blog

Anxiety so often urges quick action. We rush, focused on the future and a particular outcome. The result is more rushing, worry about the future and poor outcomes. The Navy Seals have a saying, “Slow is smooth, smooth is fast,” and it’s a practical paradoxical attitude to experiment with for anxiety. Next time you find yourself caught up in the … Read More

Anxiety can feel as though it is who we are. It also tends to dominate and overshadow all the different parts of us. Anxiety is not who we are, however. Instead, think about it as something outside of you that makes it challenging to tap into the core parts of you: your values, interests, passions, social connections, and resilience.  It … Read More

Learning about anxiety and noticing progress makes room for a new type: Anxiety about making progress with anxiety. “Is this a safety behavior or not?” “Am I doing enough exposures?” “Am I doing the right type of exposures?” “I need to get it perfect to make sure I get over anxiety!” It’s just another trick it tries to play on … Read More

We’re fused with the majority of our worry thoughts. An automatic thought appears, and we assume it to be valid without questioning it. They’re impossible to question because when we’re fused with our thoughts, there isn’t enough space to be aware of them. We’re one with them, and, as a result, they take us for a wild ride. Instead, we … Read More

Acceptance is one of the best ways to respond to anxiety. This is different than white knuckling it though. White knuckling it looks like: “When will this end? When will this end?” “I’m just going to get through this quickly” Acceptance looks like: “This is not dangerous and I’m ok with this” “I can’t change or control this feeling. I … Read More

Over focusing on the future and on your internal state (thoughts and feelings) is the perfect recipe for anxiety. Doing the opposite by shifting your focus to the present and external, can be a helpful exercise to practice. One exercise is called 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding: 5. Focus on five things you see around you 4. Focus on four things you can … Read More

Anxiety, just like the average guard dog, is extremely effective at alerting us to real danger. At the same time, it’s terrible with accuracy. It tends to bark at almost anything. Even close friends. Just as you’d never want to let the average guard dog roam freely in your yard or in public, it’s wise to treat anxiety the same. … Read More

Having a weird, concerning, frightening thought doesn’t automatically make it an intrusive thought. It only becomes intrusive when it starts interfering with our lives somehow. The key factor that pushes a thought into the intrusive category is when we give it power. For example: Trying to get rid the thought (the more we concentrate on eliminating it, the more power … Read More

Safety behaviors are subtle actions we take to protect ourselves from perceived threats. Take, for instance, the glass of water on stage, meant to ward off panic attacks caused by throat dryness. Or the avoidance of eye contact at social gatherings, driven by the fear of negative judgment. Though well-intended and seemingly harmless, safety behaviors actually perpetuate the anxiety cycle. … Read More

Rumination isn’t something that happens to us. Instead, rumination is a choice we make to actively engage with a thought. The process first starts with an automatic thought. For example, “What if I blush on stage?” This is not rumination yet. This is simply just a thought that randomly popped up, outside of our control. These thoughts can be compelling … Read More